Seeking Solace Outside Marriage: Exploring the Motivations Behind Extramarital Relationships

Image1The idea of cheating or being involved in an extramarital affair is often shrouded in controversy and taboo. While it is widely deemed morally unacceptable, there has been an observed prevalence in its occurrence, more particularly amidst mature sex contacts. Although different individuals have different reasons for straying, there are a number of common motivating factors behind this behavior observed in social and psychological research. In this blog post, we aim to delve into these motivations to gain a better understanding of this societal enigma.

The Lure of Novelty

It is normal for long-term relationships to lose their spark over the years. Once the euphoric feeling of “new love” fades, the relationship can become monotonous and routine. The lure of novelty can be a significant force in pushing someone toward an extramarital relationship. They seek new experiences outside their marriage, the thrill, excitement, and the rush of feeling wanted and desirable again.

Emotional Dissatisfaction

Emotional dissatisfaction is one of the most common reasons for infidelity. When one’s emotional needs are unfulfilled within the confines of marriage, it may feel tempting to seek solace elsewhere. This can manifest as a yearning for affection, understanding, attention, or even appreciation that they feel is lacking in their marital relationship. Engaging in an extramarital relationship can momentarily satisfy these emotional needs, providing an illusory sense of emotional connection and fulfillment.

Sexual Dissatisfaction

While love and relationships are not all about sex, it is undeniable that sexual satisfaction plays a significant role in the health of a relationship. When there is a lack of sexual fulfillment in a marriage, an individual may be tempted to seek satisfaction outside the confines of his/her relationship.


The attraction to variety, the allure of the forbidden, and the sheer sexual curiosity all factor into this behavior.

Boosts in Self-Esteem

For some people, engaging in an extramarital affair can boost their self-esteem. It may validate their desirability and worth, especially if they are battling inner feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. However temporary or illusionary, these relationships can provide a sense of validation that comes with being wanted or pursued.

Opportunity and Convenience

Unfortunately, opportunity, convenience, and simpler access also play significant roles in extramarital affairs. Research shows that those who have access and opportunity, whether due to frequent travel, social situations, or profusion of potential partners, are more likely to be involved in extramarital relationships.


In conclusion, it is crucial to remember that while these are potential motivating factors, they are not justifications for cheating. Healthy relationships are predicated on communication, trust, and mutual respect. If there are issues or dissatisfaction within a relationship, it is essential to address them directly with your partner or seek professional help. No matter the reasons, the pursuit of momentary solace and satisfaction should never outweigh the long-term damage caused by extramarital relationships.